Secret Weapon
I joined a softball team and we had our first game this afternoon in Central Park.
The good news: fresh air and summer fun!
The bad news: the opposing team brings this guy:
After the shock and awe of trying to hit a pitch off this guy settles in, all your left with is the lingering feeling that this "amatuer, casual, pick-up game" in the park is not going to end well...let's just say that if you witness the umpire asking for an autograph for his "son" before the game even starts, any hope of receiving some fair officiating is probably out the window.
And forget about any kind of support coming from the guys on our team! You would think Jessica Alba was on the pitching mound in a bikini with the way they all kept staring and smiling at sweet little Tiki. I've never seen men make googly eyes at other men before until this afternoon. We even had a guy get tagged out at first because he was too busy staring and didn't know the batter behind him was trying to get to first. It was a bad scene.
I think the game was called due to a new rule I learned about called "the gong rule". Apparently, if you are trailing by an obscene amount of runs with no hope of catching up they call the game out of pity. Who are the umps to decide that we have no hope of catching up when the score was only 16-3. Oh ye of little faith!
And another thing, to the photographers that showed up and started taking pictures...if I end up in US Weekly in the background of some "Oh look how down to earth famous people are" photo spread, just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time wearing black spandex and my mother's white reebok's... be afraid. there will be hell to pay.
The good news: fresh air and summer fun!
The bad news: the opposing team brings this guy:
After the shock and awe of trying to hit a pitch off this guy settles in, all your left with is the lingering feeling that this "amatuer, casual, pick-up game" in the park is not going to end well...let's just say that if you witness the umpire asking for an autograph for his "son" before the game even starts, any hope of receiving some fair officiating is probably out the window.
And forget about any kind of support coming from the guys on our team! You would think Jessica Alba was on the pitching mound in a bikini with the way they all kept staring and smiling at sweet little Tiki. I've never seen men make googly eyes at other men before until this afternoon. We even had a guy get tagged out at first because he was too busy staring and didn't know the batter behind him was trying to get to first. It was a bad scene.
I think the game was called due to a new rule I learned about called "the gong rule". Apparently, if you are trailing by an obscene amount of runs with no hope of catching up they call the game out of pity. Who are the umps to decide that we have no hope of catching up when the score was only 16-3. Oh ye of little faith!
And another thing, to the photographers that showed up and started taking pictures...if I end up in US Weekly in the background of some "Oh look how down to earth famous people are" photo spread, just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time wearing black spandex and my mother's white reebok's... be afraid. there will be hell to pay.
posted by "said" Woman at 6:55 PM
3 Comments:
I'm jealous. That Tiki Barber is one hot hunk of a man! mmm...
Wow, I'd love to have a professional athlete show up to a game like that. I would do my damndest to beat him just once or at one particular time so I could say:
"I skied Tiki Barber."
Ask him if he's willing to play Ultimate Frisbee.
No comprehension about the game, unless it involves beer and peanuts and cotton candy.
Gotta love the uniform. Or lack thereof.
Post a Comment
<< Home