They Say A Big Storm Is Coming to Florida This Weekend

Yay! Superbowl weekend is here and I couldn’t be more apathetic about the whole thing. Now before you go thinking “Wow! A girl who hates the Superbowl. How original.” Let me clarify…I love sports. If there is an office pool, I’m in it. If it’s March Madness, I’m probably in charge of brackets. My love of sports is two fold…I love teams from places I’ve lived, and I really love any team that happens to be playing any of my ex-boyfriends favorite teams. There is nothing better after a hard day than curling up on my couch with a glass of wine, turning on Sportscenter, and checking in to see which of my ex-boyfriend’s is having a bad night because their beloved (insert name of random sports team here) have gotten their asses kicked.

So here’s the problem with this year’s Superbowl. We have the Chicago Bears playing the Indianapolis Colts. A few years ago, I lived in Chicago so I should be loving the Bears. I remember at one point in my childhood, before I even understood what the song was about, I could sing every word to the “Superbowl Shuffle”. I remember my Mom being half-mortified when she saw me dancing around the house like Walter Payton in my PJ’s singing,

“Well, they call me Sweetness and I like to dance,
running the ball is like making romance”!

I say she was only half-mortified because nothing compared to the time I brought a boom box down to the dining room during a dinner party and began lip-synching to the soundtrack to “Purple Rain.” But I digress. The point is, I have a couple of ex’s lurking around Chicago and even a recent New Yorker who is probably still wearing the “Property of the Chicago Bears” sweatshirt that I bought him last Christmas, who are really rooting for the Bears. This does not sit well with me.

On the other side is the Indianapolis Colts. As someone who was born in Baltimore, I am morally opposed to any success the Colts may achieve. When the Colts knocked the Ravens out of the playoffs this year, I wrestled with quiet fury. It was as if Baltimore had knocked Baltimore out of the playoffs. Unacceptable. Even as a Greek, I continue to have a hard time sporting our traditional flag colors of blue and white because I don’t want to ever be mistaken for a Colts fan.

So here I am. Stuck in the middle. There will be no sweet victory for me. Unless of course I relish in the bloating of bingeing on 7 layer dip and drinking my weight in alcohol, or I win in the office pool. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it can sure make the pain a bit easier.