Monday, February 19, 2007

Sleeping With The Fishes...

"He's not slow, he's just Southern."

That's what I would say whenever people stopped by to tell me that my Siamese Fighting Fish was not a "quick swimmer". He was a shade of magnificent blue and had gills that expanded with so much air that he looked like he could take on the world. He didn't need to move fast. He was a Prince, and royalty can take their time.

I bought him on Friday. That's right, Friday...and that little dude is D-E-A-D. DEAD. Don't judge me. I can keep plants alive for over a year so this can't be pinned on me. I am a nurturer. I don't even talk shit in front of my plants because I heard or read once that they are sensitive to what they hear, and that's hard for me because I am a shit- talker.

We had 24 hours together me and that little guy. You should have seen the way he lit up an office cube. People couldn't get enough of that guy. I have no idea what he must have gone through this weekend all alone. When I found him he was pinned between the glass on the side of the tank and the rock on the bottom of the tank. Anyone who tells you that you can't die between a rock and a hard place is a damn liar. He lived a solitary life, but he had to have it that way. Johnny at Petland told me so. I bought my little fishy the best tank. The best. He had a water purifier, gourmet Betta food, and a night light to keep him cozy. I spent 54 dollars on that little guy.

People have been kind. They keep me from wallowing in my sadness by filling the silence with small talk and munchies from Pax. They speak of my dear fishy in only the highest regard. People tell me that I did all that I could. Perhaps he missed his home back in...Siam? My boss has even stopped by to say sorry. I'm touched. There is a viewing until 1:00PM proceeded by a flushing/ "burial at sea" shortly after. Then I have to go back to the pet store to get my refund.

Good night, Raleigh "Woofy" McKutchin, my sweet Prince. You were not long for this world.


Blogger Andy said...

I slept with a fish once. It was surprisingly clammy.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Sideon said...

"Anyone who tells you that you can't die between a rock and a hard place is a damn liar." You are too funny!

We have a 90 gallon salt-water tank. It has 8 anenomes - they just keep dividing! Three years ago there were just two of them! We have a few coral, a few tang, two red rock shrimp, and a few clown fish. I avoid the tank, just because I don't want to be the one that finds a dead fishy.

Love your posts!

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Monique said...

LOL I hate to laugh, but you are too funny!

I am still scarred from the three gold fish I had as a small child. For some reason, my mother let me name them Mommy, Daddy and Monique. Sigh. All three were in one small tank. Daddy ate Mommy's eyeballs, so Mommy got flushed. Then Daddy went after Monique. Daddy got flushed. Monique came with us when we moved ... then I found her one morning before I went to kindergarten. I was distraught. I haven't been able to deal with fish since without a sense of panic.

7:51 PM  
Blogger "said" Woman said...

Andy- ...and suprisingly kinky.

Sideon- In college, my voice and speech teacher would make us recite, "Any sea anenome is an enemy to me" over and over to practice diction. I can't read your comment without getting nostalgic...and angry, that I spent that much money on a BS class.

Tang is a fish? Huh. Who knew...

Monique- Holy crap! Do you have a therapist on speed dial? That's a traumatically hilarious story.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Marissa said...

I once had a goldfish who lived for 2 hours. Luckily I managed to keep my next pet (a toy poodle) alive a little longer. ;)

3:29 PM  

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