The Dog Ate My Homework?

I was sent to California. Then I was sent to Ohio. I got put in charge of the bowling team. I've been studying for the LSAT's but I don't know if I really want to go to law school. I got a promotion. My Mom had a cancer scare. I went to the Kentucky Derby. My cousin got in a car accident. His grandmother got in a car accident. My computer has been running slow. Something is up with my right calf muscle. Work is trying to send me on a seven city bus tour to interview crazy people. I was walking past a police station and a guy in a McDonald's uniform grabbed my boobs. I just found out from Oprah that 90% of all human beings have parasites that live in their bodies. It's been stressful. I might laugh. I might cry.