Monday, November 13, 2006

Shits and Giggles

I recently learned of the term "FU Money". Basically, it means that you are beyond rich. That your money is not just money, but Fuck You money and you can do with it whatever you want because what do you care, you're that fucking rich !

So, at work we got into a discussion of what we would do if we had "FU Money". I think my idea is so "FU" that I may see a return on my investment. My idea is this...if I were so rich that I could care less what people thought, I would release an album of remastered "Po(o)p Hits" that I sing (with a choir as back-up), cleverly titled, Greatest (S)hits: Volume 1. Because yes, I believe there will be a strong enough demand for future volumes of this crap.

This groundbreaking album will feature the time-treasured classics:

The Greatest Poop of All - Whitney Houston

Pooploose - Kenny Loggins

Poop (for my love)- The Pointer Sisters

It's Raining Poop - The Weather Girls

I'm All Out Of Poop - Air Supply

My Poop Will Go On (Theme from Titanic) - Celine Dion


How Am I Supposed To Poop Without You - Michael Bolton (upon viewing the list, my co-worker requested and I have graciously accepted to sing this at her wedding)

Other Suggestions/ Song Requests include (but are not limited to):

Forever Your Poop - Paula Abdul

Glory of Poop- Peter Cetera

California Poopin' - Mama's and the Papa's

A Woman's Poop - Alicia Keys

Hey Poop - The Beatles


Poopalicious - Fergie (for the kids)

Please respond immediately because this album is expected to sell out and definitely not available in stores...


Blogger Sister Mary Lisa said...

You forgot "Rock Your Poop" by Justin Timberlake! Imagine what different "wardrobe malfunction" THAT SONG would have generated!!!

Great post, you had me laughing hard. Reminded me of the night my uncle and cousins and siblings partied into the night coming up with funny titles using the word Fici (with a hard c) that we came up with from feces. Fici Fest. Good times were had by all.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Sister Mary Lisa said...

Or should it be "Poop Your Body" by Justin Timberlake???

4:06 PM  
Blogger "said" Woman said...

This just in from one of my co-workers (she loves the 80's):

The Ballads

Poop Will Lead You Back – Taylor Dayne

I Just Pooped to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder

Lost In Your Poop – Debbie Gibson

Live To Poop – Madonna

No Ordinary Poop – Sade

One More Poop – Phil Collins

Right Here Pooping for You – Richard Marx

Say You, Say Poo – Lionel Richie

Secret Poopers – Atlantic Starr

4:50 PM  
Blogger matt said...

Poop Stinks - J Geils Band

4:56 PM  
Blogger Sister Mary Lisa said...

Poop Hurts - Nazareth

6:02 PM  
Blogger "said" Woman said...

I'd like to state that my Mother is a fan of the J Geils "Poop Stinks". I also believe she is secretly embarassed that I wrote this post. Kudos to Matt...she loves you more.

1:21 AM  
Blogger "said" Woman said...

...she is also ashamed I have never heard of the term "FU Money."

1:23 AM  
Blogger Janet M. Kincaid said...

How about these?

For the older set:

I Pooped It My Way, Frank Sinatra
I Left My Poop in San Francisco, Tony Bennett
Days of Poop and Roses, Patty Page
Please, Please, Don't Eat the Poopies, Doris Day
Poopin' After Midnight, Patsy Cline
You Don't Bring Me Poopies, Neil Diamond
Super Pooper, ABBA
Only the Good Poop Young, Billy Joel
Goodbye to Poop, The Carpenters
Feelin' Poopy, Simon & Garfunkel

Or these:

Pooped, Matchbox Twenty
You Oughta Poop, Alanis Morrisette
Poopy No More, Rob Thomas
Every Poop You Take, The Police
Here Comes the Poop Again, The Eurythmics
Poop Like an Egyptians, The Bangles

For those who like classical music:

Fanfare for the Pooping Man, Aaron Copland
Viennese Poop, Johann Strauss

And for the patriotic:

This Poop is Your Poop

I was going to suggest holiday songs, but I think I'm getting carried away here and that would really push the line of decency. Even for me!

10:22 AM  
Blogger Sister Mary Lisa said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who finds this post funny as hell, and inspirational too.

12:21 PM  
Blogger flea said...

haha omg that is priceless!

luv it! & thanks for the laugh

6:52 PM  
Blogger "said" Woman said...

SML- It's funny that when you mention Justin Timberlake you think about poop. I have those same thoughts.

Janet- Well thought out playlist. Perhaps a co-producer credit on the collector's edition double album is in order?

flea- My pleasure.

5:36 PM  
Blogger used_rug said...

and who could exclude songs like

poop of the season - the zombies
god only poops - the beachboys

and finally

where is my poop - the pixies

11:59 AM  

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