Red Light Discount (Or Why I Can't Be A Councilwoman)

I have no political desires...that I know of. If I did, I would be remiss to tell you that I shop at a porn store near my house. Yup. For Movies. But not THOSE kind of movies. I think the store must be one of the few survivors from the Giuliani era that focused on the clean up of 42nd Street and Times Square in order to make the neighborhood more "tourist-friendly".

I have my reasons for shopping there and it has nothing to do with my desire to see "Hot Flesh In Action" or "Ali Baba and the Forty Sluts". (I made those titles up, so if those titles do in fact exist, I wholeheartedly apologize to the artists that painstakingly contributed to the making of what I can only assume to be quality films.) Unfortunately, I can't resist the new releases of mainstream movies that they get way before the release date. I have no idea why porn stores get these films in advance but its awesome and a horrible facade all at the same time. See, they keep the mainstream titles in the front section of the store so there's no mixing of genre's if you will. So to the general public walking by, everything looks sweet and charming. In turn, little Johnny who is standing on the street with his parents looking into the store window at the movie poster of "The Wedding Crashers", has no idea that he is 10 feet away from the very films he will be desperately trying to download off limewire 5 years from now.

I can rarely go in a porn shop alone. Usually I bribe one of my girlfriends into going in there with me after a few drinks and casually mentioning, "Oh before we go home I need to stop by the store to pick something up...is that cool?" Who's going to argue with that, right? The only problem is that even though the alcohol provides me with enough liquid courage to walk in, it also fogs my brain as to what I do and do not own as far as my movie collection is concerned. Embarrassingly, I have to admit that I have had to give away surplus copies of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", the morning after one of my "said" shopping sprees. Classy, I know.

After my friends initial shock once we walk into the shop, and they get over the fear of "What if someone I know sees me in here?" They really are amazed by the selection...and the customer service is hard to beat. I mean, how many places do you shop at nowadays have employees that really take notice when you walk in? I have never seen staff so helpful. Of course, it is a bit odd when I take my selections to the register to pay (always in cash) and the guy behind the counter can't stop blowing kisses or telling my friends and I how beautiful we are. It really is a great, albeit slightly creepy self-esteem boost. You take what you can get, right? Okay, maybe not. But what's the alternative? Have you been to Blockbuster lately?