Find A Penny, Pick It Up...

I need good luck. Not that things are terribly bad, but things can always be better, right? It's all part of my ongoing process to better myself along my journey of existence by systematically "out-lucking" people. I believe that outside of certain factors (i.e. education, poverty, health) things are pretty much a level playing field for how successful you can become, so you have to rely on luck to do the rest.

"But wait!”, you say,” What about those jerks I know that always seem to be getting ahead because they lie,cheat,and steal?"

Well I'm not talking about those people. They don't count. In fact, they suck and they will have to deal with their own karma later down the road. I'm talking about us. Normal (relatively), Hardworking (matter of opinion), and Honest (as long as you don't count cheating on a diet.)

So if my non-researched theory backed up by absolutely no scientific evidence holds true, "Almost all men are created equal...not including aforementioned mitigating factors, of course."

This leads me to my latest point of obsession...the abandoned penny that has been left on the floor of the bathroom stall at work.
Why do you tease me penny? Why do you sit there day in and day out knowing that perhaps you have the ability to change lives? If I pick you up does that make me gross? Desperate? Archaically Superstitious?
You have consumed my thoughts. I have even waited patiently, Penny. Made small talk with people using the facilities, but even they don't see your beauty and my curious yet hopeful question, "Hey I dropped some change in there, is there any left that I missed?" falls on deaf ears and quiet rumbles of disgust. Even the custodian has given up hope and left you alone to wallow in the germ infested stall of ungratefulness. But not me. I will wait. It’s just me and you penny. Or is it "you and I"? Does proper grammar even matter? How can it, when all that truly matters is Lady Luck...