Thursday, September 14, 2006

Seems Fishy to Me

Last night I had a friend come in to NYC who was visiting from Chicago. I had to kill some time before we met up and I had a killer craving so I found a sushi joint nearby the hotel where we were meeting. I walked in and asked to sit at the sushi bar. As a former waitress, I hate taking up extra space at a table during a dinner/ lunch rush when I can easily sit at a bar and get my meal on.

As I looked around I noticed the only Japanese people in the place were the two sushi chefs working in front of me. All the other men in the restaurant, including the waitstaff, were wearing Yarmulkes. Ummmmmmmm...

What? I checked out the menu. I had stumbled into a Kosher sushi restaurant. So I look around. There is nothing remotely Japanese going on in this restaurant. All I see is a Menorah and paintings of historic events in the history of Israel and Judaism. Okay. I can handle this. But I know that my Kosher friends don't eat shellfish. As someone who has lived in Maryland, and craves crabs, I'm not sure how anyone can handle this. God loves lobster. I just know it. If I get up, I won't get to explain that, "Hey, I just happen to really like shellfish. You know the spider roll, the tempura fried soft shell crab rolled in rice and seaweed? I need it. Now." Instead if I get up, I will be a racist. A Jew hater. But that's the farthest thing from the truth. I love Jews. Seriously. I've even slept with a few.

So I eat my bagel roll ( which is a Philadelphia roll with smoked salmon) and deal. I wonder what the Japanese chef thinks of all Mexicans get mad at Taco Bell? Do Itallians find Olive Garden offensive? Do the Chinese hate Panda Express?

Or perhaps the Japanese chef is Kosher and I'm the idiot. Fair enough. But at the end of the day, I still get to eat oysters!!!!!!!! (As long as it is a month ending in the letter 'R'.)


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