Butterflies In My Stomach...

They say if you scratch a cynic you’ll find a romantic. I’m the most loving person you’ll ever meet (well one of the most, if you're reading this I bet you're pretty loving too.) but my problem is I have a hard time showing it, saying it, or acting like it. I'm pretty sure it's a problem. For me, when I get a crush on someone they are all I can think about, but if that person is standing next to me, expect the dumbest things to come out of my mouth. If I am near my “said” crush, I don’t recognize the words coming out of my mouth. Let me clarify, I actually hear the words coming out of my mouth, the disease is that at the same time the little voice inside my head is screaming, “Stop. Don’t say this. It’s not as funny as you think it is”, or my favorite, “Who is this idiot talking?” It’s like I’m a twelve year old in a grown woman’s body. Oh, and if "said" crush is wearing cologne or has that musky pheromone thing going on, forget it, I can’t even be near them. So in summation, I apparently can’t stand next to or hold a conversation with anyone I find attractive. I need to figure this out or look into joining a convent, if not, it’s going to be a lonely road my friends…