Lifting My "Spirits"

It's been a week and I am starting to get back to normal. I think? Oh I don't know. This whole thing just makes me so sad. Louisiana left for well, Louisiana. But she sends me texts (which feels like every hour) just to check in with me and see how I'm doing. Unbelievable. Bad shit happened to her, and she wants to make sure I'm doing ok. Biggest heart ever.

I have been surrounded by a lot of love in the meantime, and I didn't realize how much I needed some. My Mom and my Aunt came to visit and feed me. That's very big for my people. When in doubt, and you happen to be Greek, you eat. It makes you feel good and you don't have to talk about the heavy stuff that you should be talking about. We also did a lot of tourist-y things. We rode the Staten Island Ferry, went to the South Street Seaport, and got fitted for bras. My Aunt called it "lifting our spirits". She seems to think (courtesy of Oprah) that we don't know what size our boobs are. Apparently some guru who has a bra store on 90th and Madison is a frequent guest on Oprah and has convinced my Aunt that our lives will get better as soon as our bras fit us better. I have never been "fitted" for a bra. I usually go to Victoria's Secret and get the biggest one on the rack and make it work. It really is a simple process, unlike this one, which involves you standing topless in front of someone who has been trained to tell you what your size is just by staring. It's creepy, but it works. My boobs are now being supported by a 65 dollar bra (and a 25 dollar matching thong). I will be handwashing these puppies as to keep them far, far away from my Chinese Laundry Guy.

The crazy part is that according to these "booby specialists", I have a 36 F Bra size, which is roughly the equivalent of a Triple D Bra. Whatever. I just had a reduction, and I paid good money to ensure that I definitely don't have that size. I think these companies increase the sizes to make women feel better. Just a theory. I'd explain my theory further but it's so hard to sit up straight at the keyboard with these massive melons weighing me down.