Friday, August 25, 2006

Return To The Forbidden Planet

That's it folks. No more Pluto. Science has decided that Pluto no longer fits the definition of what makes a planet a "said" planet. I'd like to say for the record, that deep down, I never believed Pluto was a planet anyway. Pluto was always a Disney character. A lovable dog. Man's best friend. Besides, I could name every Disney character before I could ever name any of the planets, and I didn't even need a catchy acronym to do so. When I did have to memorize the planets, Pluto on the end was my get out of jail free card. If all else failed when it came time for Mrs. Mallardin's Astronomy quizzes, I knew that I lived on Earth and Pluto was in there somewhere; everything else I could remember was just gravy. Now all that has changed. After a vote among 2,500 geeks, ahem, scientists in Prague today, it looks like Pluto got the boot. I'm sorry Pluto. You never failed me, and I never forgot you for that.

What I find even more interesting is what these scientists claim makes a celestial body a planet...These scientists agreed that for a celestial body to qualify as a planet:

1) it must be in orbit around the Sun
2) it must be large enough that it takes on a nearly round shape
3) it has cleared its orbit of other objects

(That's it?)

Who knows what means anyway? The same could be said for my ass. Apparently, it fits within the parameters of the new scientific definition of the word "planet". Feel free to suggest a name for this new "planet". But try to stay away from cartoon character names this time. If I hear anyone refer to my ass as "Goofy" or "Pepe Le Peu", I'm going to be pissed.


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