Monday, July 17, 2006

UH OH! Brad is Mad!


Apparently, Brad Pitt felt the need to go on the Today Show this morning with some earth shattering news…The devastation in New Orleans from Hurricane Katrina is BAD…What??? Oh no he didn’t!!!! He followed up that statement with, what we need to do as a nation is find more cost effective ways of building homes that take up less energy…Brilliant!!!!! I guess that explains why he slashed the selling price of the home he once shared with Jennifer Aniston from $28 million to $24.95 million…you know, to make things more cost effective for the general public. His closer statement was, “Man, I got kids now. And it really changes your perspective on the world.” Awww…I’ve never heard that before!!! It almost makes me forget about his philandering ass…until this gem…wait for it, wait… “I'm so tired of thinking about myself. I'm kinda sick of myself.” You’re sick of yourself? How do you think I feel? I’m just trying to watch you and get my yogurt down without trying to gag.

As a former resident of Louisiana, listen to me when I say…Brad,Please…take a month off. Relax. And by relaxing I don’t mean renting out a small impoverished nation. I mean lay low. Read a book. Write a script. I don’t know if you can read or write, but they both seem like wonderful creative outlets that will keep you busy for a bit, and stop you from smiling in staged photo-ops in front of destroyed Louisiana homes. If you STILL insist on helping, pull a Sean Penn. Get in your wife beater and start wading through the water while trying to pull a tugboat with a handicapped person in it. In fact, bring your own camera guy to document it. That way I can SEE you doing something instead of doing random morning show interviews filled with you TALKING about obvious shit, and random sentiments that your PR person told you will somehow endear me to you. Shut your chiseled face! I’m not a morning person, and you blubbering while I’m trying get my breakfast on is killing me!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger Borderline said...

And let us say... Amen.

12:50 PM  

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