There are things I'm afraid of...

People that can consume food while riding on the subway.

Accidentally saying Precious out loud when I see girls on the street that look like her.

The commercials with those abandoned dogs that have sad Sarah MacLachlan and Willie Nelson songs as a soundtrack.

The people who go to Disneyworld on Thanksgiving. I’ve done it once. Nobody was from a country that had deodorant.

The guy who is cooking my hash browns at the Waffle House between 2 and 4 in the morning.

Awful people from high school trying to get in contact with me – just because you got fat doesn’t mean you got nice.

That I will never finish the book that’s been on the nightstand for 2 years.

Math teachers.

People that say “You don’t want to die alone, do you”? Because in my head I’m thinking, “Yes. Because you know who doesn’t die alone? People on planes.”

Strip clubs that serve sushi.